he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
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