i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize