I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
Randomize