I bet he comes in French.
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
I feel like people expect me to always be a sarcastic, shade throwing drunk. And you know me, I hate to disappoint.
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
Randomize