Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
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