how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
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He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
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