sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
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