at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Randomize