hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
Randomize