Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
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