Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
Went to the doctors. She saw my " I love beer" tattoo. All she said was " My drunken tat is of just one word. "Cornnuts.". Then said Mexico was "awesome." And sent me on my way. Yeah. She's my favorite doctor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
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