Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
Randomize