guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
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