She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
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