she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
Mass text: dear whatever jerk off who thinks they stole drugs from me. It was birth control. Go fuck yourself. And pray that I don't get pregnant.
Who puts their birth control in a bottle with a smiley face?!
Oh fuck wait
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Randomize