He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
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