You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
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