I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
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So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
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Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
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