no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
Randomize