That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
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