I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize