i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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