That's when you crack a 10am beer
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
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i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
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I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
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