Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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