I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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