its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
Randomize