she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
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judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
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Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
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