i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
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Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
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I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
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