the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
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