Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
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