note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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