it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
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