plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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