I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
We need to feng shui this bitch.
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
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