I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
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I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
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You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
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