I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
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