Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
I cut my penus on the lid.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
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There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
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It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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