I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
I have post one night stand depression
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