every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
Who put my cat in the fridge?
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
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