i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize