my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
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