my vag is so smooth its legendary
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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