For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
True strength comes from lack of pants
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
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