zippers are such a cool invention
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
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