Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
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I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
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My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
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