So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
Randomize