My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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