Texts From Last Night

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  (707): View more from California

  I*** M*****, this is your dignity texting you. I ditched you when you started hitting on bros and old sailor men last night. My friend Sarah has pictures to prove it.

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  (707): I*** M*****, this is your dignity texting you. I ditched you when you started hitting on bros and old sailor men last night. My friend Sarah has pictures to prove it. http://tfl.nu/citx
  Replies (27) Good night (525) Bad night (2035)
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  (703): View more from Virginia

  Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza

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  (703): Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza http://tfl.nu/9pba
  Replies (7) Good night (2911) Bad night (445) Order T-Shirt
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  (248): View more from Michigan

  i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.

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  (248): i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding. http://tfl.nu/2d2l
  Replies (35) Good night (1474) Bad night (6441) Order T-Shirt
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  (917): View more from New York City

  Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.

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  (917): Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date. http://tfl.nu/r3cq
  Replies (17) Good night (668) Bad night (6420)
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  (616): View more from Michigan

  what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?

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  (616): what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame? http://tfl.nu/ixm6
  Replies (29) Good night (1489) Bad night (3730) Order T-Shirt
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  (970): View more from Colorado

  We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.

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  (970): We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers. http://tfl.nu/cjb4
  Replies (10) Good night (3548) Bad night (954) Order T-Shirt
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  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"

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  (412): there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty" http://tfl.nu/qrhn
  Replies (17) Good night (6351) Bad night (870) Order T-Shirt
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  (305): View more from Florida

  i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.

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  (305): i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes. http://tfl.nu/n4c7
  Replies (4) Good night (468) Bad night (921) Order T-Shirt
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  (812): View more from Indiana

  I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby

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  (812): I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby http://tfl.nu/u8rx
  Replies (9) Good night (921) Bad night (1649) Order T-Shirt
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  (541): View more from Oregon

  I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.

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  (541): I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true. http://tfl.nu/xlw0
  Replies (6) Good night (1099) Bad night (531) Order T-Shirt
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  (715): View more from Wisconsin

  Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?

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  (715): Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him? http://tfl.nu/jy7k
  Replies (5) Good night (1727) Bad night (365) Order T-Shirt
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  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.

  (1-717): View more from Pennsylvania

  So all in all, a good night.

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  (717): You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young. (1-717): So all in all, a good night. http://tfl.nu/c215
  Replies (0) Good night (1238) Bad night (305) Order T-Shirt
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  (775): View more from Nevada

  My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.

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  (775): My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am. http://tfl.nu/5s1a
  Replies (3) Good night (668) Bad night (341) Order T-Shirt
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  (937): View more from Ohio

  The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve

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  (937): The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve http://tfl.nu/cdxu
  Replies (1) Good night (1074) Bad night (166) Order T-Shirt
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  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it

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  (202): All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it http://tfl.nu/syvy
  Replies (2) Good night (742) Bad night (132) Order T-Shirt

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