We got so high we made milksteak
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
it's like heaven, but drunker
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
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Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
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You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
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