Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
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